The Vaginismus Creator
Last Updated: 01-21-24
Your body isn’t out to hurt you. It is an intelligence system that wants nothing but the best for you no matter how you treat it. Give your body a little bit more credit than it being a broken down machine. I believe that illness is a feedback mechanism that lets us know when something is emotionally bothering us under the surface; that we may or may not be conscious of. Are there physical factors involved in illness? YES! Can studies and evidence-based medicine be the only pieces of the puzzle that matter? I don’t believe this to be true. Gather as much information as you can physically, emotionally and spiritually before making any decisions involving your body. Be your best advocate.
With Love, Rachel Reimer
What is Vaginismus?
An Illustration of the Vaginismus Creator
Vaginismus:
The belief: “I am not going to let you in. You will hurt me!”
A familiar “stranger” or “husband” goes looking for his wife that is somewhere in the house. He sees that the bedroom door is closed, knocks and decides to enter; no matter what the response is on the other side of the door. The wife immediately tenses up subconsciously and views this “stranger” or “husband” as a threat. Her jaw/neck muscles tighten and her pelvic floor muscles tighten. She has created an invisible wall in her throat and in her vaginal canal to ensure that no intruders get through. Additionally, she has created an invisible wall outside of her body that makes it difficult for anyone to hurt her emotionally. When these internal and external walls are created, she finally feels as though she has control/safety over her own space/being.
Therapeutic Considerations
The word “creator” is used very intentionally. If an individual can live out the illustration of The Vaginismus Creator over and over again, it is CREATED. Here are questions that I encourage you to journal about and/or discuss with your counselor.
*Do not sit and think about these questions. Get the thoughts out of your body through writing or speech. A true, unbiased, analysis of oneself can not happen within just the contents of one’s own mind.
In this exact moment, do you FEEL safe? If not, what is the potential threat?
Who is the threat?
Make a list of all of the men that you were around since birth
Relax your pelvic floor muscles
Picture each man one at a time and see which man is associated with tight pelvic floor muscles
When you find which men your body responds to, ask yourself “How specifically, do I fear they will hurt me?”
Do you know how to set/follow boundaries for yourself verbally so that you don’t need so much physical protection?
Are you fearful that the “bad” belief systems that your sexual partner holds will be embedded into you after intimacy?
Does it feel like someone can literally shove their ideas down your throat? Is this physically possible?
What good things are you keeping out of your life by having this invisible wall up?
Is the invisible wall in front of you really that protective? Since having this wall up, no one has hurt your feelings?
Once the physical and emotional walls are down, does the belief “No one wants me” show up? Does accepting love feel like swallowing a poison?
If you would like to talk to someone that is familiar with emotional stress and how it may impact specific parts of the body, you can book a session with Rachel Reimer here:
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Disclaimer: Rachel (Reimer) Hyde from Rae of Hope® is not a medical doctor or licensed health care practitioner, and does not claim to be one. Rachel (Reimer) Hyde from Rae of Hope® does NOT diagnose, treat, prescribe, mitigate, alleviate or care for any disease of any kind. Rachel (Reimer) Hyde from Rae of Hope® insights are not a replacement or substitute for appropriate medical care or medical exam; nor does it replace the need for services provided by medical professionals. Always consult a physician or trained health care professional for diagnosis and treatment of any medical problem, issue, disease or condition.
*The content on this post is based off of opinion and/or observation and is for entertainment purposes only