The Lupus Creator
Last Updated: 01-14-24
Your body isn’t out to hurt you. It is an intelligence system that wants nothing but the best for you no matter how you treat it. Give your body a little bit more credit than it being a broken down machine. I believe that illness is a feedback mechanism that lets us know when something is emotionally bothering us under the surface; that we may or may not be conscious of. Are there physical factors involved in illness? YES! Can studies and evidence-based medicine be the only pieces of the puzzle that matter? I don’t believe this to be true. Gather as much information as you can physically, emotionally and spiritually before making any decisions involving your body. Be your best advocate.
With Love, Rachel Reimer
What is Lupus?
An Illustration of the Lupus Creator
Systemic Lupus Erythematosus:
The belief: “I will claw, scratch and tear myself apart, progressively, until I die, if it means that you will keep me.”
A girl in her late teens has a difficult relationship with her mother. She perceives that her mother will physically, emotionally and/or financially leave her if she isn’t able to do what mom has asked. The girl may even feel hopeless in this endeavor because half of the time she may not even know what her mother expects. (In cases where an individual experiences great fear from not knowing what someone expects of them, the kidneys can be affected.) In an effort to please her mother, because she feels like she NEEDS her to survive, the girl will internally punish herself for the fault or error she knowingly or unknowingly made. She may ask herself, subconsciously, the question: “What level of self-punishment is enough to get mom to stay?” At times, the level and frequency of these self-made punishments can become severe. So severe that if you opened up the girl, her insides look like a wolf was set loose and mauled her.
Therapeutic Considerations
The word “creator” is used very intentionally. If an individual can live out the illustration of The Lupus Creator over and over again, it is CREATED. Here are questions that I encourage you to journal about and/or discuss with your counselor.
*Do not sit and think about these questions. Get the thoughts out of your body through writing or speech. A true, unbiased, analysis of oneself can not happen within just the contents of one’s own mind.
Who do you feel like you NEED in your life to survive? (Ask the emotional, irrational part of you this question).
If you don’t succeed, who do you feel like will be left in your life that cares about you? Do you care about them?
Is clawing, scratching and tearing yourself apartment respecting yourself? Do you respect yourself? How do you know that you respect yourself? Can you respect yourself if others find you to be pitiful or pathetic?
Why don’t other people have to claw, scratch or tear themselves apart to get someone to stay?
If you are free from needing this person’s acceptance, what do you want to do with your life now? How much time, energy and money have you put into trying to get this person’s acceptance?
How many other people have you pushed away in order to focus on getting this one person’s acceptance? Can you name everyone you have pushed away?
Does the person you want acceptance from know that you are willing to slowly and brutally kill yourself for their acceptance?
How specifically do you punish yourself internally? What parts of your body do you punish over other parts? Does a self-correction so severe that it limits your ability to live a fully functioning life make sense? When a mother dog corrects her puppies when they do something “bad”, are her corrections strong enough to severely injure the puppies or kill them?
Are you hoping that the person you seek acceptance from will have compassion/empathy/love for you when they see that you have been mauled internally from a wolf-like attack? Is there another way to talk about compassion/empathy/love with this person without tearing yourself apart?
If the person you want acceptance from dies, do you fear you will die soon after them?
Do you feel like God/Higher Power accepts you? If not, why?
Do you believe that your soul is tainted? If so, how?
When you angry with yourself, what can you do besides taking it out on your insides? Can you take that angry energy and scribble it out on a piece of paper until the anger is at a 0/10?
If you were working at a factory, do you envision your boss wanting to keep you on staff if you claw away at your kidneys each time you make an error? How do you think a boss would view an employee that processed their stress in this way?
Once you finally gets acceptance from the person that you want acceptance from, is it then a life-long battle to keep their acceptance? Will you ever get to live a day where you don’t have to keep this person in mind?
Imagine at your funeral, there is a sign above the casket that says “I did this to myself to try to feel accepted.” When people arrive to your funeral and see this, how do you anticipate them responding? Would they laugh at your dead body? Would they feel sad that you hurt yourself out of an attempt to feel accepted?
Why don’t you have the confidence to take care of yourself?
Does it feel as though the person you want acceptance from is connected to you (umbilical cord/conjoined twins)? If so, how do you want to separate yourself from them?
After you die, do you plan on continuing to punish yourself every time you make an error? If God/Higher Power wouldn’t like that in behavior in heaven, why would God/Higher Power want you to treat yourself that way on Earth? OR
Do you believe that after you die you are going to a place like Hell where you do continue to punish yourself for all eternity?
If you claw, scratch and tear up your body to punish yourself, do you expect your body to sit there and take it? How would you feel if you treated another human-being this way? Anytime you are angry with yourself, you think clawing, scratching and tearing up another human-being is okay? If you did this to someone else would that be considered assault?
If you would like to talk to someone that is familiar with emotional stress and how it may impact specific parts of the body, you can book a session with Rachel Reimer here:
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Disclaimer: Rachel (Reimer) Hyde from Rae of Hope® is not a medical doctor or licensed health care practitioner, and does not claim to be one. Rachel (Reimer) Hyde from Rae of Hope® does NOT diagnose, treat, prescribe, mitigate, alleviate or care for any disease of any kind. Rachel (Reimer) Hyde from Rae of Hope® insights are not a replacement or substitute for appropriate medical care or medical exam; nor does it replace the need for services provided by medical professionals. Always consult a physician or trained health care professional for diagnosis and treatment of any medical problem, issue, disease or condition.
*The content on this post is based off of opinion and/or observation and is for entertainment purposes only.